Men and Church

I'm back after a week at our denomination's General Assembly in Memphis, TN. And I thought I'd begin with a little controversy...sound interesting?

A few days ago, the local newspaper carried a story about men and how few of us are in church on a regular basis nationally. The article began by stating that, "When it comes to who fills the pews, every Sunday is Mother's Day in most mainstream American churches." Sadly, that is the truth in far too many churches. Many churches cite pragmatic reasons for ordaining women ministers and elders; they can't find enough men.

So, why is it that our men are missing?

One guy, who I gather is supposed to be an "expert" on the topic, suggested that churches themselves are to blame for the absence of men: "What churches are doing isn't getting the job done. Mom is having to take the kids to church because Dad doesn't want to go. That leaves Mom in charge of the spiritual upbringing of the children, which means faith is a Mom thing and not a Dad thing."

I want to wade in to these waters by offering the following thoughts on the subject:

1. Perhaps there is something that churches are (or aren't) doing that is keeping men away. I for one believe that our churches have become feminized, especially in the sermons that are being offered. We have opted for pop-psychology and feelings-based sermons from the pulpit instead of serious Biblical exposition and application. Sermons like "10 ways to a good marriage" or "7 steps to raising great kids" or "How to get in touch with your inner child" or some such nonsense are all the rage. My opinion is that we need to get back to teaching the Bible and applying it to people's lives. Wasn't that what Jesus and the apostles did? Hmmmm...

2. My first point aside, let me ask a question. Why is it that the first thing people point to when there is a problem with attendance is the church? Why is the first reason we offer for why men are not coming to church because the church isn't doing something right? Maybe the problem is with the men themselves. Maybe they don't understand what the Bible has to say about church attendance and worship.

Maybe they don't understand that worship will be THE business of heaven (Revelation tells us so). Worshiping Christ will be what Christians revel in and find supreme joy in. If they don't have that attitude toward worship now, then that should serve as a big warning of a potentially serious heart problem.

The 18th century minister Jonathan Edwards once said that whatever it is in your life that you most yearn for, that is your God. Why is it that men are not in church on Sundays and at a football game or fishing instead? Sadly, one reason is because far too many yearn for football or fishing or something else mundane more than they yearn for Christ.

Maybe they don't understand that being a Christian means, by definition, that one is united to Christ. This means that Christians are united to others who are themselves united to Christ and are, thus, part of the corporate BODY of Christ. God does not save individuals by themselves and leave them by themselves and bring them to heaven by themselves so that they can be by themselves for eternity. He saves individuals and unites them to Christ and to the vast multitude who are themselves united to Christ. The church is an assembly (albeit an imperfect one on earth) of those who are united to Christ gathering together to worship (which, again, will be the business of heaven) and to meditate upon God's Word and to encourage one another in living the Christian life.

Maybe they don't understand that church is the only place where all of God's appointed means of grace can be found. God has appointed certain means for His children to grow up to maturity (Word, prayer, Lord's Supper, Baptism, fellowship). And they can only be found together at church. If we skip out on church, we are deciding to skip out on growing in grace.

Maybe they don't understand that the spiritual upbringing of the children is not to be a "Mom thing" but a Dad thing instead. The Bible continually points to the father as the one who is to be responsible for the spiritual upbringing of the family. Isn't it interesting in Ephesians 6, right after Paul charges children to obey their parents in the Lord, he refers to the 5th commandment which says that they are to honor their father and their mother. But then he turns to the fathers (note, not to the fathers and the mothers) and charges them not to exasperate their children but to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Maybe the church has failed. But whatever the reasons are for men skipping out on church, one thing is plain. We, as a nation, need men to step up. We need men to take up their crosses and follow after Christ. We need men to set the examples for their families and for the nation and world. We need men to teach their families and to pray with and for their families.